Isaiah 49: 14 – 16
But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me,
And the Lord has forgotten me.”
“Can a woman forget her nursing child
And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.
“Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continually before Me.
Dear Traumatized Child,
When you come home to Your Abba Father, you will be so excited. Like the woman at the well, you will run to tell others in your church about the depths of His love for us all. You will see women weeping and you will know they too have just experienced what it is to be seen and known in the depth of their wounding. You will rejoice as they too see that their faces are not covered in the shame of their sin, but radiant in the redeeming love of Christ.
But then, as you step out in faith and go where your Father asks you to, the thorns given you as a gift will at first pierce your resolve. You will share of the piercing with leaders you trust. You will share of the waves of fear and shame that are pursuing your body unto death, but instead of arms reaching out to hold you and truth arising to defend your soul, the thorns will be pressed even deeper still. Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.
In the thorns piercing
Again and again and again
But it’s then, God’s healing will truly begin to flow. As you join Christ in His suffering, His compassion will overwhelm you, as you see your past through His eyes of mercy for you. This time, you will turn toward your God in trust: you will cry out from your own heart that is failing you and listen for His Voice and His new heart rising from the depths.
Then, ever so slowly, through His patient teaching, you will learn to stop seeking sanctuary in a building, in religious leaders and in your own perfection and strength. You will learn instead to seek the sanctuary of Jesus Christ: the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
When you cannot stand through the attacks that come, He will hold you and you will watch as He tethers your feet to the ground, as you long to die. Your feet will not be moved, as you watch your very weakness testify to His power, the hope of glory, Christ in you.
Each day, when the waves return, you will pour out your heart in Laments. You will be overwhelmed by His precious Word to you. Joy and peace will rise from deep within you, thanksgiving and the sound of singing, as He lifts you above the waves, even as you feel them crash and pound your flesh. You will arise in Him to glory in each and every Promise fulfilled.
A covenant new.
Your Son’s blood
Then, as He draws you out and sets you apart for His purposes, you will watch Him lift every accusation against you. He will use every weapon forged against you to perfect and complete you in Himself. He will persuade you to put Your trust in Him alone. For, He will teach You to walk in the light of His truth – His living and abiding Word. A Word that will reveal His undivided heart in you, a heart that fears Him above all else, answering the prayer He gave you to pray so long before.
He will open your mouth to celebrate His authority, His character and His warmth growing within you. Clothing you in His reputation, He will fix your gaze on His face, melting your frozen heart to reveal His heart of compassion there, giving you a Crown of beauty for the ashes of your dross.
You will rediscover the joy of praise and thanksgiving springing up out of your anguish. You will experience the healing power of the Spirit of God arising in you, slaying the accuser of your brethren and freeing you from your sin and pain to love others as Christ first loved you. Held in His nail-scarred hands, you will die to pride and self, becoming as nothing to the world to gain your eternal inheritance, your portion in Christ alone: your All.
It’s then you will begin to taste the freedom of humbling yourself beneath the mighty hand of God. You will daily learn to embrace His grace in your weakness, turning from your sin, as you grow in discretion and discernment, watching Him raise you as His own beloved daughter.
Your knees will bow in awe, as He strengthen your relationships in His holy Word and begins reaping fruit in and through you that you have so longed and prayed for, but all but given up on. And oh how you will experience the peace of being still and knowing that He alone is God.
It’s then as the thorns continue to pierce, you will weep in thanksgiving for a God who so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. A God who clothed Himself in wrath: who took upon Him the thorns of all our sin and pain. Why? For the joy set before Him: a healed and whole Body of Christ.
So that you and all His beloved, traumatized children would never ever have to bear the weight of these awful thorns. So that these very thorns piercing you would become a gift of healing and redemption through the resurrection life of Christ at work in you, through the living Word of God ever calling you to remember HIM, the joy set before you: a healed and whole Body of Christ. The God who chose you to become His compassion and gift of mercy to an aching world.
One day, you will weep for this one and only God who chose you, even knowing you would harden your heart in sin. Knowing that you would turn away from the very piercing sent to heal you, sent to smash your idols and free you of your chains.
You will come to see that this God chose you to give you a future and a hope – putting plans into motion not to harm you, but to bless you and His Body. For, through His piercing, He is rewriting your and His Body’s story of sin and death into a story of grace and resurrection life, ever unfolding.
One day, instead of believing He turned away from His little girl, you will finally see how He turned toward her. You will see how He held you in the nail-scarred palm of His hand all those years that you thought He had abandoned you.
You will see that He placed you exactly where He wanted you, right where the thorns being sent to hurt you would in His beautiful timing, in His sacrificial blood, redeem you and His Body, as you bow at the foot of the Cross.
You’re teaching me
To remember too
A crown of thorns piercing
Again and again and again
Love pouring forth
From a Cross.
A table set
In the presence of my enemies
Pouring on my head.
In each and every thorn
I find more of
My crown of thorns
You bled and died
To exchange my sin and death
For a crown of life
Beloved traumatized child, rejoice! The pain of those thorns has been lifted. Because of the joy set before Him, His Body healed and whole, Christ died on that Cross to take your crown of thorns upon Himself and to exchange that crown of thorns for a crown of life everlasting!
Your Future Self, redeemed, restored and being transformed from glory to glory, by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of your testimony in Christ Jesus.
Psalm 73: 21 – 26 ESV
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Colossians 1:24 (ESV)
Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church,
Streams in the Desert: 366 Daily Devotions, L.B. Cowman, p.388
It is not until a beautiful kernel of corn is buried and broken in the earth by DEATH that its inner heart sprouts, producing hundreds of other seeds or kernels. And so it has always been, down through the history of plants, people, and all of spiritual life—God uses BROKEN THINGS.