Part 7: Chapter 7 – Day 7: The Roar of Heaven’s Tears

Welcome to Day 7 of Chapter 7 from Arise & Shine’s Part 7. Today, Bettie is bringing forward our final free will offering not just for this chapter, The New Covenant of Love, but for the whole book.

Thank You, Thank You, Jesus, for completing what You started more than six years ago, when you brought us together, oceans apart, and united our hearts forever in You. We praise You and honor and glorify You for who You are.

The Lord said to Moses, 2 “Consecrate to me every firstborn male. The first offspring of every womb among the Israelites belongs to me, whether human or animal.”

Exodus 13:1-2

You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; 19 to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, 20 because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.”[c] 21 The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”[d]

22 But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, 23 to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, 24 to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

Hebrews 12:23

The roaring of the enemy seemed louder

Than my ears could bear


The thundering of the God of Heaven would

Flatten me to the ground


I am undone in the presence of the holy one


Where my sins have found me out

And the roaring of the enemy seemed louder

Than my ears could bear


he recounted every failure every stone

I ever flung and


heart hurt by my gaze when wicked thoughts


left me crippled bruised and sore

Jesus! The roaring of the enemy seemed louder

Than my ears could bear


Arms were gentle and strong pulling

Me up from the swamp


my feet had fallen and tangled


the lie ensnared alone

The bleeding of my savior fell deeper

Than my sins were etched


Mercy found a home for my heart carried

Free to the mountain of forgiveness


New where firstborn love is the


gown covered over with grace.

When I first fell beneath the weight of my chronic illness diagnosis, it seemed as if every cynical thought I had ever buried deep in my soul suddenly pounced to the surface to haunt me. For what I had uttered in secret was now being said about me. My sins had found me out.

–“COME, get up out of that bed, and get moving with your day! Surely if you just begin, you will find your strength will be replenished.”

–“OH! Your pain cannot be at that high level you are complaining about! How else could you even be present if that were so?”

–“PLEASE! Just take the medication recommended and do what the Doctor has ordered. The reaction cannot be as bad as you fear.”

I grieved over my own sins as much as I hurt over what now was being spoken to me. I felt I had no right to lament or mourn my diagnosis. Surely it could not be that bad. Hadn’t I spoken the very words now being uttered over me?

And so I pushed and I agonized to keep the thundering voices at bay. I tried desperately to ask for forgiveness. I felt it must somehow be my fault that now I was the one bearing the weight.

“Jesus, I am sorry I ever uttered those thoughts. Jesus, I am sorry I am ill.”

It may seem ludicrous to you, if you have never borne that weight of guilt or pain, to feel that it could be your fault. But those with lingering pain and hurts understand.

The thundering of the enemy keeps us locked in fear and silence.

Until the day the thundering of God’s voice becomes too loud to ignore. HE will not allow the crushing guilt and unbearable pain to be covered over any longer. He has brought us to His mountain of righteous judgement, to the blood of Jesus shed for all. His mercy would not let me remain buried under that weight of condemnation any longer.

The arms of Jesus lifted me up so close to His beating, resurrected heart. “I am not offended by your pain. It was for this I died.”

And the tears of lament flowed freely as I let Him freely wash me anew. His forgiveness is not dependent upon my striving to be good. No, His mercy covers every stain white as snow. And His healing is not dependent on my striving to follow every protocol demanded by my diseases. No, His mercy carries me to the safety of our Father’s heart, where every worry and every fear is laid openly at His feet.

Lord Jesus, I am forever and utterly safe in You, home where I belong.


  1. Oh praise Jesus for His strength made perfect in our deepest weaknesses! Only He could have carried us through to the fulness of these posts. Thank you, Dear Anna, for listening to the invitation of our Lord, and for inviting me to hear His voice as well. May these words belong to Him so completely now. And may He continue to lift our eyes up to Him. I’m so thankful and blessed by your friendship and love, dear Anna. Sending hugs, and love, and blessings across the miles in this your Birthday month!!


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