A few days ago, Bethany’s beautiful question lingered with me, as I felt God inviting me to look back and ask and answer the two questions below. Perhaps you too would like to join me in this prayerful reflection? Come, let’s invite Jesus to redefine what we have lost and to show us what we have in fact gained in Him.
What have I lost/am I losing in You, Jesus?
- Trust in my own and others’ ability to fulfill the law
- Responsibility to save myself and others
- My reputation as the good girl
- Harsh judgment of and lack of understanding for myself and others
- Idolizing myself and others: needing the love and approval of man
- Wordly respect
- My definition of “church” and the Body of Christ
- My definition of “ministry”
- Believing the enemy’s accusations of condemnation against me and others are Your accusations against us
- My ability and desire to keep going without resting
- Constant noise around me and in me
What have I gained and am I gaining in You, Jesus?
- A growing desire to know and love You and others as You know and love us
- Trust in You and Your righteousness, Jesus
- Growing awareness of and trust in Your good and perfect plan and calling upon my life
- Seeing my and others’ differences as Your blessing and Your fearful and wonderful workmanship designed to set us apart unto You first and then bind us together as One in You, as we discover and live out who we truly are in heart to heart, Spirit-led community
- Rest and breathing space
- Self-control to pause and wait on You
- Head space and peace in my growing discernment between Your Voice and the accuser of the brethren and my growing ability to resist the enemy’s dividing thoughts
- The ability to entrust others and myself into Your hands: to choose Your path, even when it doesn’t make any sense to me because You have proven to me you know each one of us better than we know ourselves or others
- Sweeter intimacy with You & my family
- The privilege of joining You and Your Body in Your suffering and growing in compassion and understanding
- Seeing and coming to know You, where I never could before
- New heart to heart Spirit connections
- Your Living Word being written on my heart through experiences of Your faithfulness to me and my loved ones
- Hope and joy in the mourning
- Strength to persevere
- An eternal perspective
- Submission to Your authority
- Healthy boundaries
While sitting with these questions over a few days, what I saw and heard changed, as God cleansed my eyes to see and opened my ears to hear. Part of that waiting included a time of journaling, where I looked back on three precious memories with someone God parted me from.
As the pain of our parting surfaced and my longing to be with her, God’s peace flooded my heart. As that peace now continues to flood my heart, I feel Jesus speak His Word His Word of completion over us both. He will complete what He began in me through my friend and what He began in my friend through me.
And one day, I and she will see Christ’s resurrection life blooming in this friendship He asked me to lay on the altar. I and she will understand in full, what we only do in part right now. And our sorrow will turn into dancing – into a joy no one will ever again be able to steal from us, as we stand healed and whole, hand in hand, before the throne of grace. In this loss, I know He is inviting us into a deeper intimacy with Him and with each other and His whole Body through Him.