What if our loss is but gain?

Is your loss an invitation to deeper connection?

Bethany Boring

A few days ago, Bethany’s beautiful question lingered with me, as I felt God inviting me to look back and ask and answer the two questions below. Perhaps you too would like to join me in this prayerful reflection? Come, let’s invite Jesus to redefine what we have lost and to show us what we have in fact gained in Him.

What have I lost/am I losing in You, Jesus?

  • Trust in my own and others’ ability to fulfill the law
  • Responsibility to save myself and others
  • My reputation as the good girl
  • Harsh judgment of and lack of understanding for myself and others
  • Idolizing myself and others: needing the love and approval of man
  • Wordly respect
  • My definition of “church” and the Body of Christ
  • My definition of “ministry”
  • Believing the enemy’s accusations of condemnation against me and others are Your accusations against us
  • My ability and desire to keep going without resting
  • Constant noise around me and in me

What have I gained and am I gaining in You, Jesus?

  • A growing desire to know and love You and others as You know and love us
  • Trust in You and Your righteousness, Jesus
  • Growing awareness of and trust in Your good and perfect plan and calling upon my life
  • Seeing my and others’ differences as Your blessing and Your fearful and wonderful workmanship designed to set us apart unto You first and then bind us together as One in You, as we discover and live out who we truly are in heart to heart, Spirit-led community
  • Rest and breathing space
  • Self-control to pause and wait on You
  • Head space and peace in my growing discernment between Your Voice and the accuser of the brethren and my growing ability to resist the enemy’s dividing thoughts
  • The ability to entrust others and myself into Your hands: to choose Your path, even when it doesn’t make any sense to me because You have proven to me you know each one of us better than we know ourselves or others
  • Sweeter intimacy with You & my family
  • The privilege of joining You and Your Body in Your suffering and growing in compassion and understanding
  • Seeing and coming to know You, where I never could before
  • New heart to heart Spirit connections
  • Your Living Word being written on my heart through experiences of Your faithfulness to me and my loved ones
  • Clarity
  • Light
  • Direction
  • Hope and joy in the mourning
  • Strength to persevere
  • An eternal perspective
  • Submission to Your authority
  • Healthy boundaries

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.

The apostle Paul

While sitting with these questions over a few days, what I saw and heard changed, as God cleansed my eyes to see and opened my ears to hear. Part of that waiting included a time of journaling, where I looked back on three precious memories with someone God parted me from.

As the pain of our parting surfaced and my longing to be with her, God’s peace flooded my heart. As that peace now continues to flood my heart, I feel Jesus speak His Word His Word of completion over us both. He will complete what He began in me through my friend and what He began in my friend through me.

And one day, I and she will see Christ’s resurrection life blooming in this friendship He asked me to lay on the altar. I and she will understand in full, what we only do in part right now.  And our sorrow will turn into dancing – into a joy no one will ever again be able to steal from us, as we stand healed and whole, hand in hand, before the throne of grace. In this loss, I know He is inviting us into a deeper intimacy with Him and with each other and His whole Body through Him.

Is your loss an invitation to deeper connection?

Bethany Boring


  1. As hard as losses are, I do know that they bring me closer to Christ. When things around me crumble or don’t turn out like I thought, I know that Christ is the strong, stable One who never changes. I can put my life in His hands and know that nothing can take me away from Him. That gives me comfort when circumstances overwhelm. Whatever I give up, He replaces with a deeper connection to Himself. Blessings to you, dear Anna! xoxo


    1. Amen: whatever I give up He replaces with a deeper connection to Himself and I would also add a deeper connection to people also – because the closer we get to Him, the more He unveils our true selves and those true selves can’t help but draw others like a magnet to Christ and His love – uncovering their true self also: genuine, heart to heart connection.

      Our life – and our loved ones’ lives – are in His hands and He won’t ever let us go – Amen! Oh how I have seen His faithfulness, as I know you have also.

      I was recently so struck by that verse about God being unchanging. Literally that Word unchanging is translatable as – Himself. God remains Himself. Isn’t that beautiful? He never puts on a front, He never pretends or placates – He is who He is, was and always will be. Somehow that’s even more comforting to me.

      Love and hugs from afar xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Anna, this is such a good pause. As I pause also, and ask for God’s perspective, I can see that He’s inviting me to look for the gain He is working in my life, and in the lives of those I love too. And I just had to copy and paste your closing sentence here:

    In this loss, I know He is inviting us into a deeper intimacy with Him and with each other and His whole Body through Him.

    After my morning devotional today, the older song by Matthew Ward “Drink Deep from the fountain of life” came to my memory. God keeps confirming His Word for us! Blessings and love to you today!


    1. Dear Bettie, what a gift that song is. Such tears. Years ago a stranger prayed over me and shared a vision the LORD gave Him of me standing under a fountain pouring over me – drenching me and I was SO happy – drinking in that water of life. I am having more and more of those moments, where it feels like I am standing under that fountain of God’s delight as He is washing me in His love, His truth and His grace. It is so very humbling and so amazing to see how gently and quietly and lovingly He has been leading me and setting me free of burdens that were never mine to carry. Thank You, Jesus!

      May God bless you as you too slow and ask for His perspective afresh. Makes me think of that verse- knock and the door will be opened, seek and you shall find. Oh may we never stop knocking and seeking His Presence. It so blessed my heart to look back and see His Presence in my friend’s and my midst and to know those gifts He gave us through each other carry eternal worth. Love you and so thankful for your heart – His heart – of compassion.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been struggling with what feels like rejection from a family member who was more like a friend. I’ve tried to reconcile why she is distanced from me by her choice. I would typically take the blame and not let it go, but my heart tells me to leave it alone.


    1. Hugs! Our accuser knows what triggers us the most and he uses it to try and inflict pain and press us to act.

      Praise God for turning this into good for us, to root us ever more firmly in Him. As God was showing me the fruit that’s been coming in our separation (for her and me), I opened a book to a page where a little girl said something like: we don’t know everything and I felt God say: and you were never meant to carry that responsibility or weight either.

      No, it’s not our fault, nor is it our responsibility either to “fix” things because God is working right there in that place we cannot see in full what He has chosen to only show us in part (for our own good) right here and now. Praise God that in eternity we will see in full and oh what JOY shall flood our hearts. As we wait with God in prayer, may He continue to flood our hearts with peace and help us to hear and agree with His Word to us and to release burdens that are not ours to carry. So thankful to be walking this journey of faith together with you and other Spirit-led souls.

      I shared this verse with another such soul today, as it came to my heart, while walking in silence with her through the winds:

      John 3:8
      The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

      This is you and it’s me – a peace (where all essential parts are joined into the whole) beyond human fathoming.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This song came to my heart as I lifted both our hearts to God in prayer:

        The singer (a Mama with young children) went to be with Jesus a few years ago. The song, based on Psalm 91, is so soothing to me because her heart is set on Jesus and His eternal deliverance. You might not understand the words but I pray you feel the peace of God through His Spirit’s weaving.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s