living Word

Part 3: Chapter 1 – Day 6: All For Love

Anna Smit4 Comments

Welcome to Day 6 of Part 3‘s Chapter 1 of Arise and Shine. Today, Bettie is sharing a free will offering of incense in a testimony of God’s sufficiency in our intercession in Him, Scriptures and a poem of praise and worship.

May you be blessed in the encouragement and comfort Bettie brings us all in Christ Jesus. Come join us tomorrow for another post from Bettie: a powerful story of answered prayers, taking us all on a journey to the beautiful country and people of Vietnam.

If you feel so led, will you join me in lifting Bettie and her family up in prayer this weekend as she and her husband move in with their daughter and her family. They are saying goodbye to their home of many years to welcome God’s sufficiency for them in this new phase of ongoing surrender, as her husband’s health and hers continues to deteriorate. May God fill us with His precious Word to pray over Bettie and all those He calls us to intercede for in His Name.

The day started out slowly, like most of my days, but I felt Jesus with me. As He had been speaking more words about surrender, I felt that I was listening this time and preparing for what He would take me through. This waiting time to find a medication that would bring the RA back down from an inflamed state felt like it was taking too long for my own time-table. So, I continued to ask Him to uncover more of my own desires for self-sufficiency that still lingered within. As I had been asking my friends for prayer, I thought that I was on the road to acceptance.

Until another small set-back pushed me over the edge, and the tears spilled out.

Many years ago, the Lord took me through a long season of intercession for several friends and family members.  It was a time of deep stretching.  And it became my first lesson in learning that only God’s Grace is sufficient.  The burdens became too heavy for me to carry on my own. I knew that the prayers themselves were being birthed in the Spirit, as words and Scriptures would flood my mind.

Then many years after that, the Lord opened a way for this small town Midwestern girl to travel with my new Vietnamese daughter-in-law by ourselves to Vietnam for a 3 week visit with her family. She had only been in the US for 7 months herself, and I had never been out of the country.  I knew I was in over my head.  I knew that God’s Grace would have to be my sufficiency.

In those seasons, the night-times were places where Jesus often called prayers up from the deepest places of my heart.  Pages and pages of old journals document the hard and the sweet words He spoke through my prayers.  Prophetic and surprising, so many of those prayers were answered in just the way God had asked me to pray.

So when I cried at the self-sufficiency being taken away in this season of Chronic Illness, the Holy Whisper of God surprised me:

This is not a foreign place for you, my daughter. I have prepared you for these days already. You have learned that my Grace is sufficient in every place of prayer. Am I not sufficient for you here?

And suddenly I was whisked back in time, remembering those days . . .

“All For Love”


The words gushed out of my heart

But      

The groans and the tears

Fell

On the floor at my feet.

 

Intercession swirled over my head

And

The pain that another felt

Hurt

My heart like my own

 

God brought the questions

And

Then God sent His Word

To

Pray the answers

 

How could I explain the prayers

That

Poured from my belly

And

The longing for which I waited

 

They are The Apple of Your Eye

Lord

They are The Dearly Loved Ones

For

Whom You spilled Your blood

 

Months passed and years plodded

On

The prayers kept pouring forth

From

My soul where I carried grief

 

Bitter turned to sweet!

Prayers found fullness!

Intercession fulfilled!

 

Even as my singing heart rejoiced

And

Even as the weight was lifted

Yet

A pin had pricked my soul

 

A bleeding kept pouring forth

From

A hidden chamber in my heart

As

A question lodged still remained

 

You saw it all my Lord Jesus Christ

And

You carried all those weights

When

I thought I would die underneath

 

Yours is the only heart fully able

To

Be the true intercessor for us all

Who

Carries the hardest-hearted-sinner

 

But You ask us to join you there

To

Crawl up into Your lap of love

While

We speak the same words You speak

 

You want to show us the beauty

That

Only Love Eyes can look upon

And

Only Love spilled out can win

 

They are the ones

We are the ones

Oh!

I am the one

The apple of Your eye

“In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye,” Deuteronomy 32:10 NIV

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2 NIV

When we see the cross set before us, we look upon the One who shed His own dear blood, and we wonder how. We wonder why.  When all the answers are filled up in only one word: His love led Him there. He took JOY to redeem us back to the heart of His Father.

Have you let Him show you the love He carries for you?

Do you know that you are the apple of His eye?

Dear Lord Jesus,

We do come before you, falling to our knees. How could you have loved us so? We know that we are so hard-hearted, and we must admit that we are filled with our own self-sufficiency. Some days we are so proud of that sufficiency.

Oh, Lord, forgive us for all these ways that we turn away from You. And yet You still love us and call us back to Yourself.

Will you give us glimpses of the depth of Your love? Will you wash away more of our places of pride? And will You fill us with the immeasurable love that only You can bring?

We need You so much. We long to be with you Jesus. We praise You for Your beauty and Glory.

In Your precious name we pray, Amen.

First published at: https://bettiegsraseasons.com/2018/03/26/all-for-love/

Part 3: Chapter 1 – Day 1: Delight in Christ

Anna SmitLeave a comment

Welcome to Day 1 of Part 3‘s Chapter 1 of Arise and Shine. Today, Anna is sharing a free will offering of incense in a poem inspired by God’s Word to her in the crushing.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Psalm 23:5 (ESV)

Delight

How can I rest
How can I open my palms
Let go 
And rest?

How can I receive
The Word 
That says You delight 
In me?

When Your Word in me
Has closed doors on me
In confessing 
My weakness and sin.

How can I receive
Delight in that
When Your Word calls me 
Depart, bereft?

Am I not mistaken?
Does not each loss 
Each door closing
Only affirm I'm lost?

"Oh my child,"
I hear You speak
"In your pain, be still
Know My Son is calling.

"Let the Sword of Life 
Now circumcise your heart
That ears and eyes 
May open unto Me.

"For, I have come
Not to call the righteous 
But to pour My oil
Of mercy upon sinners.

"Receive My living water
Feel My waterfall of grace 
Now splashing on your face
Receive My goodness and mercy

"In My Son's crushing 
Of your pride and self
Receive My oil 
Richly flowing.

"Yes, there's life
In the womb
Feel the Son of God
Now crowning in you.

"Be not afraid, My child 
This labor pain you're feeling
Is but a shedding of the old
To birth the new.

"For, Christ wore
A crown of thorns
To place a crown 
Of life upon your head.

"In the garden of Gethsemane
My Son drunk the cup
Upon the Cross 
Your debt to pay in full.

"Now be Christ's friend 
Let the counsel 
Of the Holy Spirit 
Set you apart.

"Let each loss  
Become sweet gain
For, into every crushing
My oil of comfort pours.

"Let now 
My Holy Spirit pour
Upon the soil  
Of all Christ's crushing.

"For, is it not your honor
To bow before Him here
To taste of His sacrifice 
For you?

"Has He not proven 
In His crushing for your sins
His Bride is worth
Far more than rubies?

"Yes, the enemy may rage
In darkness all around you
But hidden in Christ 
See your lamp glow bright.

"Sow now 
Into the good soil 
Of Christ's own Body 
Broken open for you.

"Let His seed of truth 
Long hidden in your heart 
Now reap perfect peace
In the dying.

"Bring no longer a 
Burnt-out sacrifice of self 
But a free will offering
In mercy richly flowing.

"Watch and wait
My holy flame shall fall
Upon the oil 
Of Christ's anointing.

"A fragrant incense 
In My fire shall rise 
Repentance and
Refreshing reaping.

"Now, delight 
In Me, My child
For I delight 
In you."

But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. And he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.” But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together at him. Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul. And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Acts 7:55-60 (ESV)

‘You will also be [considered] a crown of glory and splendor in the hand of the Lord, And a royal diadem [exceedingly beautiful] in the hand of your God.’ It will no longer be said of you [Judah], “Azubah (Abandoned),”Nor will it any longer be said of your land, “Shemamah (Desolate)”; But you will be called, “Hephzibah (My Delight is in Her),”And your land, “i.e. Beulah, pronounced Be-oo-lah.Married”; For the Lord delights in you, And to Him your land will be married [owned and protected by the Lord]. Isaiah 62: 3 – 4 (AMP)

Part 2: Chapter 1 – Day 3: The Living Word

Anna Smit2 Comments

Welcome to Day 3 of Chapter 1 from Part 2 of Arise and Shine. Today, Anna is sharing a poem and various Scriptures.

Romans 11:32 (ESV) For God has shut up all in disobedience, so that He may show mercy to all.

Haggai 2:7 (ESV) And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the Lord of hosts.

The Living Word



Strapped to the altar again

Shut up in disobedience 

Denying this body's shaking 

I'm tethered and taut.



Pouring confessions 

In shame and fear

Of horrid pain

From seeping wounds.



Captive to the mask again

I cringe at who 

I've become once more 

The hypocrite, laid bare.



But in my weakness 

Your power rises

Cutting pride's vicious ropes

You beautifully humble me.



Eyes of love

My face in light cascade

My weak and feeble frame

In warmth You bathe.



The tears now flow

Released in streams

My past I begin to see

Through mercy's eyes.



This time my heart 

Your heartbeat knows 

And Christ in me 

The Eagle frees.



Your Voice 

Upon this altar cries

"Sin and shame

Are not your name.



"For not you, but I 

Have chosen 'n appointed you

To go and bear abundant fruit 

That now in Me abides.



"Depart under a new authority 

Seeing yourself as clean 

Because of the Word

I have already spoken to you.



"From disobedience 

I have delivered you 

Now in Christ alone

Your free will offerings bring."



Shemyahnihe'ra 

Your renown, Your Name 

Now reflected silver pure

You're shining so bright in me.



No longer I

But Christ in me I see

Your burning coals 

My lips in praise now open.



A JOY 

My heart explodes

A waterfall of grace 

Splashing on my face.



My broken walls

You have rebuilt 

Salvation and deliverance 

In Jesus' Name.



Hemmed in 

Your nail-pierced hands

Your palm

Upon my head.



In returning and rest 

A harvest of peace -

Christ - in my every shaking

Is awaking.



No, I will not die

But live to tell 

What You: my LORD 

Have done.



My life You've set apart

Drawing a line in the sand

Every accusation lifting 

I hear You call me: daughter.



Resting on the mercy seat

Now, I can obey 

My Savior's call

To truly sin no more.




Freed from all condemnation 

I lift my lamp up high 

Upon salvation's hill

Replanted in the Living Word.



Romans 9:29 (AMPC) It is as Isaiah predicted, If the Lord of hosts had not left us a seed [from which to propagate descendants], we [Israel] would have fared like Sodom and have been made like Gomorrah.

Isaiah 11 (Complete Jewish Bible) 1 But a branch will emerge from the trunk of Yishai, a shoot will grow from his roots. 2 The Spirit of Adonai will rest on him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and power, the Spirit of knowledge and fearing Adonai — 3 he will be inspired by fearing Adonai. He will not judge by what his eyes see or decide by what his ears hear, 4 but he will judge the impoverished justly; he will decide fairly for the humble of the land. He will strike the land with a rod from his mouth and slay the wicked with a breath from his lips. 5 Justice will be the belt around his waist, faithfulness the sash around his hips.

Malachi 3:10 – 12 (ESV) Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts. Then all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a land of delight, says the Lord of hosts.

Part 2: Chapter 1 – Day 2: The Water of Life

Anna Smit6 Comments

Welcome to Day 2 of Part 2, Chapter 1 of Arise and Shine. Today, Bettie is sharing a devotional on The Water of Life.

Have you ever been thirsty?
I am speaking about the kind of thirsting
In which you feel so thirsty there is a fainting in your soul.

I have been in that land of thirsting,
And I have watched the shimmering waves
Of heat baking the desert sands
As my parched soul 
Looked up to Heaven
Waiting
For even one cloud to form.

Many years ago, my family traveled and shared a drama in which I portrayed The Woman at the Well. Week after week, in many different settings, my lips spoke the cry of a woman so thirsty that she begged for a drink when the well was right before her. You see, Jesus had offered to her a different kind of water: a filling up for her soul’s thirsting.

“Jesus answered, ‘Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’” John 4:13-14 

As the weeks and the months passed, every time I spoke those woman’s words, a deeper longing was planted in my own heart. I didn’t know it at the time, though. I thought I was being filled, as I gave out the words of Jesus, week after week.  

Ah, how does it happen? How does a cry in our heart become lodged so deep that only another longing can answer in return?

I thought I knew how deep the well in my own heart was. I thought I felt the fullness of my Lord’s Words when I shared His heart with those around me.  But I had only scratched the surface.  I offered my praise, and I offered my worship, and my Lord knew what was required to let me see my own unmet longing.

The desert of pain
And the heat of suffering
Burned away the 
Half-met longings
To uncover
The well where
Full-hearted cries
Could finally be heard.

I have some very dear friends who continually pray for my healing. They wait in hope for the day that Jesus will restore movement to me, and a full remission in this place of pain. Where would I be without their sweet prayers of HOPE? And I do see improvement from the awful heat and swelling that began this journey of disease.

But there is a deeper healing 
In my soul
That I would never trade
Even for just a day 
Without physical pain.


For how can I tell
Of the wondrous
Filling
For my soul's 
Thirsty well?

How can I sing
Of my Savior's dear Presence
Carrying my heart
To His bosom of rest
When the pain
Overwhelms?

And how will I share
These dewdrops of love
Poured down on my heart
When the desert sky
Breaks
With the water
From Heaven?

Is your heart facing a desert sun today? Are you fainting as the heat of the day wastes your soul?  There is a filling that can happen for you too, my friend.  There is a place of stillness close to the heart of God where He calls you to come.

It is His very Word spoken at the end of our drama, week after week. I longed for those words to be mine, years ago, but it took the pain of suffering to bring them home to my heart:

“The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come!’ Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.”  Revelation 22:17 NIV 

Steps of Love

Anna Smit6 Comments

Something broke inside of me and I slipped into a deep depression. I wrote:

Some months ago one judgmental remark from someone put me into a tailspin and brought me face to face with painful memories of past abuse. At first I disassociated from my feelings. I didn’t want to feel at all, because it hurt too much. I continued on in life like a robot. But I became more and more depressed until one day something inside me broke. I sobbed and cried, “I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so sick of being strong for everyone around me…”

It was like I was sinking deeper and deeper into a sea of turmoil, gulping up water. In my mind Jesus was standing above the surface looking down at me and shaking his head. “Hopeless case, that one…” I felt so forsaken of God. His promises seemed bogus, and I could not grasp a single one.

The weight of depression stomped me down, down, down…

Roaring In

Shame-slapping Scowls

Stormy Emotions

Stomping Down

Sinking Me

I couldn’t have made it that dark day without the grace of God. By the end of the day my heart was still heavy, but the care and compassion loved ones gave me lifted me up to see a pinpoint of hope. And the next day, God had a pleasant surprise for  me.

“I will give thanks and praise the Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell aloud all Your wonders and marvelous deeds.”

Psalm 9:1

My husband suggested I take my writing pad and go to the Falls. He knew nature often relaxes and comforts me. It helps me to remember God still has all things in His control. I sat on a rock and watched the water rush over the red rock formations. I let the sound of it sooth my weary soul. I imagined the wind as the breath of God kissing my face and telling me I will make it through this.

When I walked along the paths and around the Art Barn, I stopped in awe. There in front of me written in chalk down the front of the steps was a message that still impacts me today. “I will love you every step of the way. ♥” I knew it was God speaking directly to my despairing heart.

Then I remembered a song – “Steady My Heart” by Kari Jobe.

“Wish it could be easy

Why is life so messy?

Why is pain a part of us?

There are days I feel like

Nothing ever goes right

Sometimes it just hurts so much

But You’re here

You’re real

I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts

Even when it’s hard

Even when it all just falls apart

I will run to You

‘Cause I know that You are

Lover of my soul

Healer of my scars

You steady my heart.”

Sometimes God sends the greatest comforts out of the deepest valleys, doesn’t He? My heart still felt wounded, but I knew I could run to Jesus and He would pull me up again out of the pit and set my feet upon the Rock.

“He reached down and drew me from the deep,

dark hole where I was stranded,

mired in the muck and clay.

With a gentle hand, He pulled me out

To set me down safely on a warm rock;

He held me until I was steady enough

to continue the journey again.”

Psalm 40:2 Voice

That toxic shame still often pierces the core of who I am and screams, “You’re worthless. How can someone like you ever make a positive difference? You don’t deserve comfort. You don’t deserve to be accepted. ”

Panic still creeps in and shouts, “Watch out! You’re going to be hurt again. Reinforce that wall.”

Healing is a process though, right? I have learned that many struggle with inadequacy, shame, and fear of trusting. And I know there are others who also do but remain silent onlookers. And that’s ok. 

All of us have a story to tell, and there is not one story that is less important than another. There is not one hurt that is less painful than anyone else’s. Every story counts. Every. Single. One. So don’t let that bug bite you and tell you, “Your burdens are not as bad as someone else’s.” I know by experience that can stifle the grieving process. Every hurt needs grieving in order to start healing.

Remember! You are so special to God! You have been created uniquely for a special purpose only you can fill. Jesus loves you so much that He sacrificed His life for you. His arms are wide open with welcome, longing for you to run into them. Yes, life can be messy. Yes, it can hurt so much and be so hard. But He cares about broken hearts and delights to heal them.

Precious Lord Jesus, sometimes life can hurt so much and be so hard, but You have promised You care about our broken hearts and You delight to heal us. When shame poisons our perspective, please help us to see that in You, we are beautiful and valuable. When we feel like we’re drowning in the storms of life, please help us to reach up and grasp Your hand ever reaching out to us. Your hand of unfailing love and compassion. Please break all the chains that still bind us and keep us from dancing in Your victory for us. Heal us ever more deeply! Thank You for Your unconditional love and powerful grace!

This post is excerpted from Trudy Den Hoed’s blog post: https://freedtofly.me/2016/05/03/depression-and-deliverance/

which was first published in 2016.

Trudy’s passion is to encourage others there is hope in Jesus and His love in the midst of loss, heartache, and trauma. Jesus has become the needed oxygen for her soul as she continues on a lifelong journey of healing from past abuse. She lives in the midwestern United States and is grateful to be blessed with a loving husband and precious children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

About the Steward

Anna Smit1 Comment

In 2015 I was diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a year after burying my Mum in the wake of her five month battle with glioblastoma multiforme. Then, this year a chronic heart condition was added into the mix.

But beautifully God is revealing these afflictions as His gifts in disguise. Through each surrender He is working in my heart, I am coming to taste His goodness in the land of the living, as He opens my eyes to that which is unfading and eternal: His love for us all.

May God bless you, as you gather with us and Him here. May we all see His face reflected in each other, in our pasts and present and our future. May He make firm the path beneath our feet. May He lift away every accusation of the enemy in the light of His love and grace for us and all His children. And may the word of our testimony to His love and grace in our lives and His blood shed for us all at the Cross overcome the accuser of our brethren, just as He has promised us in His Word.

A Blessing For Our Gathering Together

Anna Smit1 Comment

May we and our families feel the warmth of Jesus wrap around us like a shawl here as we visit with each other. May He open our eyes to see His face reflected in our own and in those around us in our past, present and future. As we acknowledge Him in all our ways, may He make firm our paths, as His Word flows like fresh water toward us, to grow bountiful leaves of healing and abiding fruit, not just in our own hearts and in our family’s but in many more. May the Spirit of the living God write His Word on each of our hearts, awakening us to the abundant life He has set before us.

May we and our families always leave here refreshed, with an ever deeper desire to know and be known by Jesus. May His living and breathing Word become ever more precious to us and our loved ones, so much so that we cannot help but recognize His face and savor His presence with us on every path God sets before us.

May we and our families deep down know that He CHOSE and appointed us – His beloved children, Body and Bride – to GO and bear fruit that abides. May we shake off the dust of the old and enter into the new He has for us. May we shine brightly in the light of His love and grace, together as One, so that this yearning world around us may see Jesus reflected in their own hearts and faces also, and be filled with joy.

About the Name

Anna Smit3 Comments

Shalom is a Hebrew word that speaks of all parts being joined together to make a whole, of healing, health and peace. Aleh is a Hebrew word that means leaf, leaves or leafage.

The name Shalom Aleh has its roots in verse 12 of Ezekiel 47 (ESV):

And on the banks, on both sides of the river, there will grow all kinds of trees for food. Their leaves will not wither, nor their fruit fail, but they will bear fresh fruit every month, because the water for them flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for healing.”

In 2 Corinthians 3:3 (ESV):

And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

And in the prophecy spoken over Ninevah in Nahum 1:15 (ESV):

Behold, upon the mountains,

the feet of him

    who brings good news,

    who publishes peace!

Keep your feasts, O Judah;

    fulfill your vows,

for never again shall the worthless pass through you;

    he is utterly cut off.

It speaks of Jesus and the healing and wholeness He gifts us and others through us, through His Holy Spirit, as He awakens us to His deep, deep love and compassion for us all.