Day 6: Sovereign

Egmond aan Zee 17 July, 2020, a beach my Mum also walked upon with my Dad, before going to be with Jesus. This sunset was God’s balm of peace to my broken and weary heart, filling me with fresh hope and rejoicing, as the song
Your Glory is So Beautiful by All Sons and Daughters began playing in my ears.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you.

2 Corinthians 4:7-12 ESV

I bless us to deep down know that our true life is hidden with Christ in God. I bless us to see how we have lost and are losing our life for Jesus to find it. I bless us to see how we have lost and are losing the world’s affections, are being emptied of all our fleshly desires and are rising up in the affections and pure delight of our God alone.

I bless us to see how we have followed and are following in the footsteps of our Savior by making ourselves nothing in taking the very nature of a servant. I bless us to see how His humility has grown and is growing in us, and how He has and still is compelling us to humble ourselves, even unto death, for the joy set before us: salvation and deliverance in Jesus’ Name not just for us, but many many more. I bless all our places of deep loss, pain and anguish to overflow with the hope of glory and the joy of our LORD Jesus Christ.

I bless us to daily experience afresh the truth that Christ Jesus dwells inside of us in all His fullness. I bless us to deep down know that we have been crucified with Christ and that it is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us. I bless us to acknowledge God in all our ways, to recognize, embrace and intimately know and discern His presence in our thoughts, our feelings and our actions, and in His sovereign directing of our paths. I bless us to know that though we may make our plans, it is ultimately God who determines our steps.

I bless us to embody the truth that the life we now live in these earthly bodies, we live by faith, not in ourselves, but in the Son of God who loved us and gave Himself for us. I bless us to rest in the beautiful and freeing truth that Christ Jesus gave Himself as a ransom for all, a testimony at the proper time.

Gather, You tell me
Gather, my broken dreams?
Gather, my heart broke in two?
Gather, all I've poured and emptied out?
Gather, here my broken self?

What do I gather?
When all I have is broken
Shattered?
Mara, she said to call her
Mara is the word I'd choose
A bitter hand dealt.

Gather, You tell me
Gather, Your tears here for me wept?
Gather, Your heart here broke for me?
Gather, all You've poured and emptied?
Gather, Word made flesh?

It's then I see You
There beside me strong
Hand in mine
Walking to the Cross

Your Body broken
Shame and mocking
On You laid
Pierced and bled in pain
In the tomb You lay.

Till Your heavens
Darkness rent
Curtain raised,
Now in two
I hear You rip.

Christ, You raise
My broken life
In the breaking
Of Your Body
From the tomb
New life unwrap.

Your songs releasing
Now my human soul
Awakening
Your Living Word
Declaring me
Whole.

Embraced in love
Steeled in truth
Sent in Grace's
Own true Breath
Into Your world
That's yearning
For You:

I AM mercy's hands
And mercy's feet.

Broken,
You make beautiful
Dark,
You shine my night to Light
Tears,
You cup and pour to Joy aflame
Fear,
You still in Perfect Peace
My feet,
On righteous path
You tread
Sure and steadfast
Held.

Gather, You tell me.
YES I shall gather
These tears You wept
This heart You broke
All You've poured
And emptied out of me
Your jar of clay
I shall now receive:

The Word
Made flesh.

Garden of My Lord
Enclosed and sealed
For a time such as this
Your spring has broken
Your fountains I hear
Crashing, pouring.

For, Your love and mercy
You've gathered
Now to rush and pour
Into Your waiting world
Through jars of clay

Sovereign

For Your own delight
In all.

For, wondrous
Are Your works
My soul knows it
Very well.

Praise You, Jesus!

Today, I would also love to bless you with a prophetic Word God spoke to my own heart recently that I pray speaks to and encourages you, His Holy Temple, too:

Slow to lean in and listen. Don’t be afraid of the silence: seek it and delight in it. I haven’t come to condemn you or to rush you through it, but to savor your presence with Me and to share My secrets with you: to make you laugh and cry and sing with joy. I have come to give you life and life abundant. I am not like man that I should lie to you.

Feel the earth beneath your feet, the leaves crunching, the wind brushing your face, the new day’s light gently resting upon your face and awakening you to my touch. Hear your pure white dress swooshing, your heart beating in unison with Mine.

Feel safe with Me, as you walk into each page of My choosing for you: knowing each moment, even the hard ones I gift you, are good and true and breathing life and love into you, as I lift off each heavy weight of this world to make that hard moment one of delight and rejoicing.

See and feel the golden chord of hope resting upon each page of your story and heart, as with each page I turn, I reveal more of My heart and story to you. I have got you covered by my mercy, sweet child of mine.

This is a new season of unfolding now with ease. Feel my hand rest upon your head and my smile of pride rest upon you, the work of my hands. I am well pleased with you, my daughter. I am drawing you away with me again because I like being with you. I like hearing your voice. I love it when you feel safe enough with me to share the tiniest of shifts in your heart with me.

I love it that you are editing posts with joy in the growth I have brought. I love it you are no longer ashamed of what you didn’t see or worried you might have pushed people in the wrong direction. I love it that you are rejoicing in My discipline of and My grace for you and others.

I love it that you are learning not to rush through into what you see needs doing. I love it that you are beginning to embrace my quiet promptings to wait and slow and let Me move you into deeds of love flowing from my heart in you and for you, as I transform your “I must do” into “I get to” and “Oh how I love to”.

I love it that you are releasing yourself and others into My sovereign care and completion, believing that I have already righted all wrongs and healed all hearts, including your own. I love it that You are inviting me into your struggles and letting me untangle the mess and reveal My blessed heart beating inside of you, over and over again. I love it that you are Velveteen-rabbit-real with me, just as I am with you too.

Remember that vision with your Mama in the forest, how she turned around to smile at you but then turned back to run after Me? Remember how I showed you how happy she was with me, now walking with me on the beach, her happy place, hand in hand with Me? I am taking you there too, precious one. Do you see how you too are glancing back to invite others in, but then turning toward me to go after me with your whole heart? I delight in Your delight in Me.

Keep Me Yours

About two weeks ago, I asked God for a Word He wanted me to receive that day and it was Psalm 32:7:

You are a hiding place for me;
    you preserve me from trouble;
    you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

As I shared it with a friend and told her that “deliverance” can also mean “to calve” and “surround me” can also mean “fetch me/cause me to come” I suddenly remembered something my husband and I watched on TV. It’s a series called “Farmer Seeks a Wife”.

One of the women woke early and because she got up then, she was able to partake in the calving. She was so overwhelmed by the beauty of that moment alone with the farmer, experiencing such an amazing moment alone together. It emphasized again for me the beauty of that hiddenness God calls us into, to be set apart unto Him and to still to His birthing of the new in our midst.

And then later, I sat there and read further in A Passion for the Impossible, a book written by Miriam Huffman Rockness about the life of Lilias Trotter, and just cried and cried. I sat with the Promise God gave Lilias right before her own weary heart and others’ discouraged hearts were opened wide to receive a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit – and to see hearts opening to Christ all around them after years of sowing without reaping:


Malachi 3:1
“See, I am going to send My messenger, and he will clear the way before Me. Then the Lord you seek will suddenly come to His temple, the Messenger of the covenant you desire—see, He is coming,” says the Lord of Hosts. 

What I found so beautiful is that this birthing of new life came as Lilias and others confessed their own weariness and need for a fresh infilling of Christ. As they set aside time to seek God and to rest and recharge away from all their activity “for Him”, God moved mightily in their hearts and suddenly simulatenously in the hearts of those around them, who were then drawn to Christ like a magnet.

I have been drawn away into that quiet place with Christ afresh this week. On Resurrection Sunday Jesus drew me to His discipline of the disciples. As He entered the locked upper room, where they were hiding out in fear, He rebuked them for their unbelief and their hardening hearts, for refusing to believe those who had reported the Good News of His resurrection to them. In this rebuke of His disciples, Jesus uncovered the hardening of my own heart, the sorrow, unbelief and discouragement that I had allowed to hide out and fester in me, tainting my heart and my vision. And so, also so deeply encouraged by the repeated humbling of Lilias before her Maker, each fresh season of her life anew, I decided to take the time to lay my heart fully bare before God.

It’s funny how simple things really are, and how easily my heart softens at God’s touch, when all I do is I just draw near to Him, when all I do is just openly confess my discouragement, my sorrow and my unbelief. Jesus responded to me so beautifully through His Word, through a movie my daughter and I watched a few weeks ago, and through my husband’s uncovering of what lay beneath the surface.

God uncovered my dented pride (ouch), my clinging to the (oh-so-much better) past and the shame I have felt of my current (humble) circumstances. And He invited me into His seeing: into His pride in me, the new life and heavenly future set before me and my intrinsic worth in Him. As I embraced God’s seeing of myself and others, I could see how the sins of pride and unbelief had been sucking the joy out of me, filling me with grief and stealing my delight in learning from, growing with and connecting to those around me. And I rejoiced in the change of mind He gifted me, as He lifted such a heavy burden off of my shoulders, overwhelming me with His tender loving kindness.

As I was sitting with what God is doing in my life and heart, I came across this old poem I penned in prayer in 2018, and I so longed to share it with you, as it still so reflects the desires of my heart. May it bless your heart also to pray this with me afresh and to linger with our precious Jesus, inviting Him to show us all the ways He has already been answering these desires that are in fact the desires of His beautiful heart for us, His lowly, gentle and servant-heart.

KEEP ME, LORD



Keep me ever weak before You

That You might be my Strength

My Cup, My Portion.



Keep me needy on my knees

That I might know You ever more

Your life, Your grace, Your love for me.



Keep me humble

Casting here my burdens

Upon the One who saves.



Keep me thankful

Remembering all You've done

And all You've promised true.



Keep me breaking

Bread from heaven falling

Not hoarding, but in partaking gift.



Keep me pouring

My heart out like water

Panting after nothing, but Living Water.



Keep me seeing

Your hand upon

Your sovereign rule and reign.



Keep me learning

My heart here open

To Your perfect leading.



Keep me safe

Within your boundaries

Not stepping there beyond.



Keep me leaning

All my weight

Upon my Lord and Savior.


That I might live

Each day, forever

In Your holy Presence.



Keep me: YOURS.